Airlines are rushing to implement their newest “revenue enhancement,” a $45.00 Volcano Flight Interruption Fee.

A spokesman claimed, “We see this as a benefit for our travelers. This way only the passengers who wish to continue their trip will have to pay for it. Some travelers may decide to seek alternate transportation to their destination and they will not be charged this fee. Of course, they will incur a $50.00 Seeking Alternate Transportation Fee, and the $20.00 vacant seat fee.”

When asked what an airline ticket actually purchased, the spokes person replied, “People are under the mistaken impression they are buying transportation, but there is no way we can actually get them anywhere for what we charge, so essentially the price of a ticket buys passengers the right to be charged for all the things it takes to actually run an airline.”

“And how is this working out for you?” we asked.

“I am proud to report, that by implementing these fees and with the concessions we have received from the pilots, mechanics, and flight attendants unions, we were able to keep our executive compensation right where it needs to be.”

More later.

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Courtesy of Apollo Ideas

My friend and Home office expert Lisa Kanarek asks,

“Where Do You Work Naked?”

Is your home office located in a tree house, playhouse or refurbished warehouse? Do you work in a funky, functional or fabulous spare bedroom, basement or attic home office? If so, you and your home office could win the “Where Do You Work Naked?” Contest sponsored by workingnaked.net between March 15-April 15, 2010.

Whether you work from home full-time, part-time or to occupy time, the place where you work naked—without the support of the corporate workplace—could earn you these prizes:

Courtesy of Apollo Ideas

Elfa products from The Container Store ($250 value)

Fellowes PS-79Ci Cross-Cut 100% Jam Proof Shredder

Epson WorkForce 610

Library edition binders from Russell + Hazel

Home Office Solutions: Creating a Space that Works for You book by Lisa Kanarek

One-year subscription to Flexjobs

Official “I’m working naked…are you?” t-shirt

To enter:

Expose yourself: E-mail a photo of your home office to contest@workingnaked.net. We’re looking for photos of offices, not people.

Share the naked truth: In 50-words-or-less, describe your home office.  We want to know why your home office is the perfect place for working naked.

The winner will be announced on April 30, 2010. For more details visit  www.workingnaked.net.

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This could be your heart! Image via Wikipedia

An Associated Press story this week reported:

Hundreds of auto dealers in the New York area have withdrawn from the government’s Cash for Clunkers program, citing delays in getting reimbursed by the government…”

(Here’s the link from the Dallas Morning News.)

This certainly appeared to be a simple program to set-up and administer. If you have the right old car, you could receive up to $4500 back on the right new car. There were basically only two standards to meet, and yet the program ran out of money almost immediately and now it’s taking so long to pay that dealers are dropping out.

This is the same government that wants to reform our health care by getting more involved in the process.

God help us all.

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I have just watched Suart Brown’s TED talk: Why Play is Vital – No Matter Your Age.

Play.

When did we get so serious?

We’re even serious about humor. Somehow somewhere we seemed to get the idea that to be serious, we have to be solemn.

Maybe it’s best to just throw stuff out there and hope something sticks, or more accurately, someone laughs.

Sometimes things work, and sometimes things don’t.

I performed with a man for several years who wrote some wonderful material. But hoarded it as if he would never write anything good again. Anytime I thought something was too good to let go, I locked up, kind of creative constipation. But when I let it all go, new stuff always filled in the space.

This is not new. It’s sort of a comic version of what televangelists call, The Prosperity Gospel, or some motivational speakers call the principle of vacuum.Zen yogis caution us that if we are already full of crap, there is no room for anything else, no room for anything new. If you are busy finding places to use what you already know, you are not looking for new things to learn.

Funny surrounds us.

In Focus On The Escape we talked about locking in on something to the exclusion of everything else.  The only barriers are self created ones. There is always another story, always another joke, always another stupid frat guy who not only does something stupid, but films it and puts it up on YouTube for the world to see.

The only way to find out if something is funny is to put it out there.

If you are one of those rare individuals who has such a highly refined sense of humor that only three people on the planet share your insights, as long as they are not bedouins who live in a tent, or pygmies who live in the jungle of New Guinea, you will find each other and laugh.

So play.

It’s OK.

If it works, it works,

if it doesn’t…. try something else.

And if your company or group has forgotten how to play, bring me in for your next meeting or event! (I’ve got kids in college, and an expensive wife, I need the money!)

Meanwhile, play around with comments, and with the subscribe buttons.

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Bugatti Veyron

This is an incredibly simple concept, once you get it. But tough to write about.

Status is our relationship to the world. Not only to people but to things and to places.

For example: Why are we quiet and reserved (usually) in church?  Movie theaters are similar physical spaces, but treated completely differently.

Could it be because one is “God’s House,” and the other is Jim Carey’s?

Would you eat popcorn in church? Could you watch a movie without it?

How many have noticed that, when you go home,  even if you have become a multi-national billionaire philanthropist, you instantly become the “little brother” AKA “Pizza Face.”

One of the best books on improvisational theatre, is Impro, written by Keith Johnstone. Keith is the founder of the Loose Moose Theatre Company in Calgary, Alberta Canada. And one of the theories that Keith writes about is that every day, in every way, in every interaction, we are all playing, status games.

Depending upon how we feel about ourselves, or about the people we meet or even the places we go, we are attempting to adjust our status to what is comfortable for us. We “play” either higher or lower than the other party. In many cases we are status matching with the other party, trying to maintain an equivalent status with them.

This has relevance for Using Humor, because humor relies upon status to work. Status is what drives classic “Dumb (insert group here)” jokes. We get to feel superior to the country hick/city slicker/blond/brunette/engineer/golfer/etc. Many times when humor doesn’t work it is because the status was not right. And it isn’t as simple as low status making high status comments. It may be because there is nothing funny about high status making high status comments.

Sometimes this is easy to recognize. We all know someone who, no matter what we bring up, they have done it better, faster, or spent more money.

These folks drive me nuts.

So turn the tables on them, using status, Talk about how bad something was. When they reply with something much worse. Lower the stakes even more.

If they don’t catch on, you could progress from talking about a rash, to broken bones, to internal injuries, to dire operations, to tropical diseases. And in rare instances they may end up trying to convince you they were actually dead, and brought back to life.

Next time you attend a party, or social event, it will transform how you view everything.

“Suddenly we understood that every inflection and movement implies a status, and that no action was due to chance, or really ‘motiveless.’ It was hysterically funny, but at the same time very alarming. All our secret manoeuverings were exposed.” – Keith Johnstone

There is no way to be neutral.

In trying to be “neutral’ you adjust your status to those around you, and they will in turn adjust to compensate for your modifications.

Go now and observe. Report back in comments what you overhear or participate in.

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