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The only couple who ever walked out of a Guava Bomblet Improvisational Comedy Show, were white, upper middle class, and I assume, liberal, politically correct types.
We proudly considered ourselves equal opportunity offenders. We picked on everyone.
In The Domestic Scenes, we started out as low class white trash, segued into “success at any cost” suburbanites, and ended up as a family of televangelists. All considering the relative incompetence of their oldest son. From “making your butt look like a peppermint stick” to attempted suicide, and ending up “healing the affilcted, ” each family had their own method of dealing with unacceptable progress.
We had a rap that poked fun at upper-income Highland Park. Followed by our pop-opera “For White Trash Who Have Considered Welfare When The Paycheck’s Not Enough.” A stoner sang about his “Second Hand High” and a “gospel” choir did a Rap-ture Rap. “Who’s to say when we will go, it may be the bomb or Godzilla’s toe (at which point a giant accordian lizard toe tried to smush us all) But until the time that does happen, rest assured we’ll just keep rappin’”
Anxious children awaited their dear mother’s passing, ready to record her last words for posterity… except she kept waking up and saying things like “I’ve got to fart.” So they smothered her with a pillow after finally getting her to say something “nice” and tombstone worthy. A copy machine devoured a hapless temp worker, and at Cafe Orgasma, the food was guaranteed to leave you satisfied and wanting a smoke.
Elaine Liner, a reviewer for the Dallas Observer, once titled a review “No Joke Too Low for The Guava Bomblets” in which she stated that if you enjoy low-brow frat style humor, the Guava Bomblets have a front row seat with your name on it.” So of course, that year we titled our Best Of show “No Joke Too Low” the souvenir button had a toilet with the circle and slash “No” symbol, and on the flyer was printed “…the Guava Bomblets have a front row seat with your name on it.” credited to Elaine Liner from the Dallas Observer.
We packed the place so full, the fire marshall threatened to shut us down, and I discovered later that a friend of mine used the Bomblet shows to weed out dates with no sense of humor. If they got it, he would ask them out again, if not…
Strobe lights illuminated three of us, dressed as sperm, chasing an egg around the stage, thwarted by Silly String Contraceptive foam, and a giant hula-hoop diaphragm until, just as we were about to triumph, a voice announced it was “that time of the month” and the egg disappeared down a trap door. The Tearleaders (funeral home cheerleaders) failed, and in ten years of performances we only dropped the F-bomb six times.
Six original members three women, three men, ten years, four to six shows a year, six to eight week runs, two sets, thirteen bits per set, not counting the stuff that didn’t work and got trashed the first weekend. We always said we would “work on it” and use it later. We never worked on any of the failed bits and never used any of them “later.” But saying we would, helped.
And it all worked, until the time came that we could not be honest with each other about what worked, and what didn’t work.
In a way, it was the work that was sacred. Anything can be funny.
Except Tearleaders.
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on Dec 12th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
The tongue is like a flame of fire. Who can tame it?
on Dec 12th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Indeed
on Dec 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Stopping by to say hi. Good article. Sounds like someone had a damn good time, while it lasted
on Dec 13th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Etta, we didn’t know how good we had it. Isn’t that always the case?
on Dec 13th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
“That time of month” huh? I’m trying to imagine if a few gallons of ketchup would have been appropriate at that point. For effect you know?
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
This is a great post. Tearleaders..hilarious! Ahh the good old contraceptive silly string…I do believe the ladies love when you pull that out when the passion is hot and then you are left wondering what happened when they jet out the door to go for a ‘sure thing’ at Cafe Orgasma. I would have loved to see your troupe perform.
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Like Etta, I am just stopping by to say hi. Maybe hoping that some of the humor will rub off.
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Well Raider, since we had to clean up after ourselves when each show was over… that idea never got much traction. But thanks for sharing…
Deprechaun: I know, the concept of “Tearleaders” is hilarious, but making it work onstage was beyond us. Like our parody of the old prime time soap Dynasty, “Die Nasty” it never worked. How do you parody somethng that’s already a parody?
Nicole: My fervent Democratic friend! Thanks for stopping by. If we Republicans are good for anything… I guess it’s a laugh,
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
tearleaders? really does sound like it should work. if ya don’t mind reliving the bomb, how’d you guys go about it? happy cheerleaders sayin’ sad things, sad cheerleaders sayin’ happy things, straight out emo kids (‘course they wouldn’t have been emo at the time)?
your friend using the show as a test is brillaint. my friends and i often do the same. one night the three of us all took the girls we were seeing to a jay mohr show (with jim norton opening). we had a great time. the girls, not so much. the evening now stands in infamy as “the night of doomed relationships.”
it took ten years to drop the f-bomb 6 times? hell, i can drop it six times in one post. such a versatile word it is.
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Tearleaders: If I remember correctly, (it was a while ago and the bit was very short lived.) The three girls dressed all in black including black pom-poms, would lead the mourners in cheers for the deceased. Maybe something like:
Two feet, four feet six feet below,
He asked Was it loaded?
And now he knows!
or
Gimme a D, Gimme an E gimme a D-E-A-D Dead!
He’s dead, he’s dead he’s well and truly dead.
Night of Doomed Relationships: Ilike it! Yep nothing like humor to expose what people really think.. and to expose those who don’t think at all.
F-Bombs – It is a versatile word, but after awhile we realized we just never said it and it became a kind of a game to avoid it.
on Dec 14th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
It sounds fun. Damn, how do you rustle up a troupe to do awesome things with?
on Dec 15th, 2008 at 2:53 am
well, i laughed at the tearleaders. sounds good on paper (er, monitor) but that’s why they play the game, eh?
you’re dead on about humour exposing how folks think. now if only we could get those who don’t to disappear…
(you had to be there)
the avoid it game is one i could play. i’d have to get bonus points though as i enjoy it in lieu of a comma.